Acceptance for OCD, Autism, ADHD
Acceptance practices are ancient and long-standing traditions in many religions and philosophies, and came to me as a helpful therapeutic intervention via ACT (Acceptance and Commttment Therapy). ACT helps us compassionately examine which struggles in our lives are part of the human experience, and which are optional struggles we can free ourselves from. If you are feeling disempowered and stuck, there may be some acceptance work to do. Acceptance does NOT mean endorsement, approval, or allowing something harmful to continue. It is also not the end of your work - in fact, it is the starting line. Acceptance means seeing, with clarity and without judgment, that unfavorable conditions are present, and our control over them is limited. When we accept that our control in some areas is limited, we can redirect our efforts to areas where we have more influence.
Common Struggle and Acceptance examples
These are just a few patterns I see often. There are so many ways to struggle and accept that are not captured here.
OCD
Struggle: Avoid new things, anticipate and predict others, ruminate about whether you are a good person, build an elaborate set of rules, procrastinate and prepare when you want to act
Acceptance
There is always a chance I will experience risk and pain when I try new things.
I cannot be completely sure how others view me and feel about me.
I am in development, and my character might shift over time with my actions.
Some of my decisions will not work out, and I might feel regret.
New moves: Build skills to take care of yourself in pain, ask others their opinions and accept their explanation, identify values and aligned actions, practice decisions as courageous acts
Autism
Struggles: Over-explain, avoid explaining, overprepare, avoid challenges, mask, predict with very high effort and precision, expect symmetrical fairness and react when it’s not present
Because of my wiring, I have limitations, and others will struggle to understand them.
I will put a lot of effort into things, and they will still sometimes go unexpectedly.
Some of my experiences will be very intense, even when I have prepared for them.
Despite all the information I gather, my perspective will sometimes have limitations.
There are uncomfortable experiences I will have in my body and out in the world, and it is very unfair.
New Moves: Find ways to manage expectations, reserve efforts for deepest values, build a sensory care kit, remember “this may not go according to plan,” fill in information with others’ persectives by asking questions, get support with “easy” things that aren’t easy, find communities of social activism that match your strengths and passions, set and hold boundaries.
ADHD
Struggles: refuse support, try harder until you crash, chase good feelings, people-please, self-criticise
Acceptance
Effort alone has limited affects on some aspects of my thinking, such as my sense of time, my memory, and my planning process.
I will often feel bored, restless, or unsatisfied, and it will be more intensely uncomfortable for me than others.
I will not be everyone’s preferred person, and it will hurt when this happens.
My strengths and challenges profile might be poorly understood by others.
New moves: accept support and build systems, be strategic with effort, make space for deep focus, boundaries, self-compassion
You might notice that acceptance statements evoke emotions. These emotions can be powerful, and you deserve support as you navigate them. If this process feels overwhelming, try it with a trusted friend or a therapist.
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Resources for Aceptance:
